Fuller House: Welcome Home, Michelle
by Mark Sinacori
Summary: D.J. wants everything to be perfect for Michelle's return visit home for her thirtieth birthday as she hasn't been back to the Tanner House since 2010. Doing all she can to make Michelle's visit perfect, D.J. gets distraught having to handle many things that go awry along with Michelle's unfamiliarity with a few new changes in their childhood home.


COLD OPENING

FADE IN:

INT. FULLER LIVING ROOM- DAY

A BANNER HANGS FROM THE BANISTER WHICH READS "WELCOME HOME, MICHELLE, HAPPY THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY!" MULTICOLORED BALLOONS AND STREAMERS DECORATE THE ROOM. D.J. RUSHES DOWN THE STAIRS AND ALMOST TRIPS. KIMMY SITS ON THE COUCH WITH RAMONA, THEY WATCH TELEVISION KIMMY CHANNEL SURFS WITH THE REMOTE. TOMMY SITS IN HIS PLAYPEN.

D.J.

Come on, guys, what are you waiting for?

KIMMY

Justin Bieber half naked and wearing a thong, anyone know what channel he's on? I'm a belieber! I am a belieber!

KIMMY DOES SOME SLICK MOVES WITH HER FISTS.

D.J.

Kimmy, this is not funny, I've worked all week for this.

KIMMY

So, it's not that your sister hasn't been home in years.

D.J.

Kimmy, she's been gone since two thousand and ten, that's six years.

KIMMY

Really? Who woulda thought you could go home again? You know, with the internet and webcams and all.

D.J. GOES TO THE COFFEE TABLE AND STRAIGHTENS UP MAGAZINES.

D.J.

Kimmy, it's not the same thing. Sure she's communicated with us through internet and phone but I want her to get the feel she remembers this place.

KIMMY

How could she forget. Well, there was that one time she fell off her horse, but in the end she called you guys all nuts when all you did was hug her for remembering.

D.J.

Kimmy, that was twenty two years ago.

KIMMY

Really? I thought I saw that last week. Oh, wait, you're right, I'm so stuck in the nineties!

KIMMY PUTS HER FEET ON THE COFFEE TABLE.

D.J.

Kimmy, stop it. Look, I want everything to be perfect for Michelle, okay?

KIMMY

Okay.

KIMMY TURNS TO RAMONA WHO READS A MAGAZINE. SHE PULLS IT AWAY AND SMACKS HER ON THE HEAD WITH IT.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

Hey, meja, let's get this place ready for Michelle, okay?

RAMONA

Huh? Is Michelle here yet?

KIMMY

No, not yet. Rapido! Rapido! Clean, por favor, A Tannerito is coming home today!

D.J.

There, that's more like it.

RAMONA GETS UP AND GOES TO TIDY UP NEAR THE ALCOVE.

KIMMY GETS UP OFF THE COUCH.

KIMMY

Deej, would you relax, they don't call me a party girl for nothing. I mean, literally speaking.

KIMMY SWINGS HER HIPS AROUND AND PRETENDS TO DANCE. SHE TURNS AROUND AND SHAKES HER BUTT. ON THE BACK OF HER SHIRT A SLOGAN READS "PARTY LIKE IT'S NINETEEN NINETY!" PICTURES OF A KUSH BALL, SKIP IT, ALF, AND OTHER EARLY NINETY'S MEMORABILIA GRACE THE BACK OF THE SHIRT.

D.J. LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM.

D.J.

Yeah, you really did a good job, I'm sure she'll be surprised.

D.J EXHALES AND CATCHES HER BREATH. KIMMY PUTS HER HANDS ON D.J.'S SHOULDERS AND SHAKES HER.

KIMMY

Deej, would you just relax. Take a chill pill, sistah!

MAX RUSHES THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WITH COSMO, THEY'RE BOTH FULL OF DIRT. D.J FRETS.

D.J.

Max! Max, Cosmo! No! Get back here! Go upstairs and wash up! Oh, no, Kimmy, what do I do?

KIMMY

Be lucky I'm not only a party girl, I also run one hell of a clean up crew.

KIMMY GRABS A BOTTLE OF CLEANER AND A PAPER TOWEL THAT'S ON THE COFFEE TABLE. SHE LOOKS DOWN AT THE FLOOR AND PULLS OUT HER MAGNIFYING GLASS.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

Okay, now from the looks of this I see we have some sort of dirt. Yup, dark brown, almost black.

KIMMY SMELLS IT.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

Yup, that's dirt alright. Boy, be glad I'm here taking the place of Mr. T., dirt, cuz you going down!

KIMMY SPRAYS CLEANER ON THE FLOOR.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

Oh, yeah! Brownie points to me!

D.J. EXHALES AND RUSHES OVER TO KIMMY.

DJ

Kimmy, I'll take care of that, no more joking around, this place needs to look perfect for Michelle, asap.

JACKSON WALKS IN FROM THE KITCHEN. HE WEARS BIKER TYPE CLOTHES AND A JEAN JACKET AND SHADES.

D.J.

Jackson! Why are you dressed like that?

JACKSON

You know me, Mom, I want to impress Lola.

D.J.

Well, impress her by just being yourself.

JACKSON

This is myself.

D.J.

Jackson, my sister's coming home today for a visit, does she really want to see you in that?

JACKSON

Hey, Aunt Michelle's the one who designed these for me, give her a break, alright?

STEPHANIE RUSHES INTO THE LIVING ROOM WITH A BIG SHEET CAKE.

STEPHANIE

Oh, you guys, you wouldn't believe how packed it was at the supermarket. On the other hand, I met this really cute guy named Brandon who works at the pier...

D.J. CRINGES. SHE RUSHES OVER TO STEPHANIE.

D.J.

Steph, enough, put the cake down before it falls. Ramona, finish organizing those magazines.

FERNANDO WALKS INTO THE LIVING ROOM FROM THE KITCHEN, HE'S FULL OF GREASE AND HOLDS A CAN OF MOTOR OIL.

FERNANDO

Well, I got the car fixed. Mi familia is with wheels again.

D.J.

Fernando, what are you doing? Don't come in here like that, you're full of grease!

FERNADO

Well so-rry! But grease is the word, is it not?

FERNANDO RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR AS HE IMITATES DANNY FROM GREASE.

D.J. SHAKES HER HEAD.

MAX RUNS THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN WITH COSMO.

D.J.

Max! Cosmo!

TOMMY CRIES IN HIS PLAYPEN.

D.J. (CONT'D)

Tommy! Don't worry, mommy's here!

D.J. RUSHES OVER TO THE PLAYPEN AND PICKS UP TOMMY.

STEVE WALKS THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.

STEVE

Hey, anyone know if the food's ready yet?

D.J.

Steve!

D.J. RUSHES OVER TO STEVE AND PULLS HIM TOWARDS THE KITCHEN.

STEVE

Hey, Deej, thought I'd stop by early, in case the caterers were here yet.

D.J.

No, they're not. Nothing's going right today.

STEVE

Aw, Deej, just calm down, what are you worried about?

D.J.

That this house will not be perfect for Michelle.

STEVE

Perfect for Michelle? Deej, she lived here all her life, until she moved to New York six years ago, this was the only place she knew. It hasn't changed, has it?

MAX AND COSMO RUN THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN.

D.J.

Max! Cosmo! No!

D.J. RUSHES AFTER MAX AND COSMO.

KIMMY FINISHES CLEANING THE DIRT ON THE FLOOR.

KIMMY

Take that, dirt! Nobody's a match for Gibbler!

KIMMY LOOKS AND SEES MORE DIRT AND MUDDY PAW PRINTS.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

As you were, Gibbler.

KIMMY SPRAYS CLEANER ON THE FLOOR.

FERNANDO'S CAN OF MOTOR OIL LEAKS ONTO THE FLOOR. D.J. NOTICES THIS AND RUSHES OVER.

D.J.

Fernando, get your oil out of my living room!

FERNANDO

Well, you don't have to be so rude, do you?

FERNANDO PATS THE CAN OF OIL.

FERNANDO (CONT'D)

It's okay, honey, time to go back on the shelf with your brothers and sisters.

FERNANDO SOBS AS HE EXITS TO THE KITCHEN.

TOMMY CRIES AS D.J. SOOTHES HIM.

D.J.

It's okay, Tommy, mommy's here, it'll be okay.

THE FRONT DOOR OPENS. MICHELLE WALKS INSIDE THE LIVING ROOM. SHE WEARS A CLASSY OUTFIT. SHE LOOKS AROUND AS D.J. CONTINUES TO STOP MAX AND COSMO, KIMMY AS SHE CLEANS THE FLOOR, JACKSON AS HE LOOKS AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR, AND STEVE AS HE WALKS THROUGH THE KITCHEN WITH A BIG SANDWICH.

STEVE

Mmmm...nothing like a little pre-party snack.

MICHELLE

Stephanie opens up the box of Michelle's birthday cake and sets it on the table.

STEPHANIE

There, would you look at that! A truly historic Michelle collage! She'll love it!

Pictures of Michelle over the years dress the top of the cake.

MICHELLE

Home sweet home.

EVERYONE STOPS AND LOOKS UP AT MICHELLE IN THE DOORWAY. D.J. CRINGES.

D.J.

Michelle!

MICHELLE

Well, come on, guys, what's taking you so long?

D.J.

Huh?

MICHELLE

I've been here thirty seconds and still no hug?

EVERYONE RUSHES UP TO MICHELLE AND THEY HUG HER.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

There, that's more like it. Home sweet home.

MICHELLE SMILES AS EVERYONE DOES A BIG GROUP HUG AROUND HER.

FADE OUT.

END OF COLD OPENING

FADE IN:

INT. FULLER LIVING ROOM- DAY

D.J., KIMMY, STEPHANIE, STEVE, JACKSON, MAX, AND RAMONA BREAK FREE OF THE GROUP HUG FROM MICHELLE.

D.J.

So, Michelle, how was your flight? Was there too much turbulence? What about the food was it...

MICHELLE

D.J., relax, the flight was fine.

STEVE

Michelle, great to see you.

STEVE EATS HIS SANDWICH.

MICHELLE

You too, Steve. Still eating as I can see.

MICHELLE WALKS TOWARDS THE COUCH AND LOOKS AROUND.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

You know, it's so nice to be home again.

D.J.

Really?

MICHELLE

Yeah, living in New York in a loft is nothing compared to pure rustic home living.

D.J.

Good! That's good!

D.J. LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM AT EVERYONE.

D.J. (CONT'D)

Isn't it?

MICHELLE'S CELL PHONE RINGS.

MICHELLE

Just a sec.

MICHELLE ANSWERS HER PHONE.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Hello? Yeah, Tracy? No, tell them I won't be back in New York until Monday night. I'm spending my thirtieth birthday in San Francisco. The supplies? Order fifty percent. Don't worry, money is no object. Hey, it's quality, not quantity after all, remember that. Ciao.

MICHELLE HANGS UP THE PHONE, SHE EXHALES.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Assistants. Can they ever learn to do things without their bosses supervision?

MICHELLE SHAKES HER HEAD AND DROPS DOWN ON THE COUCH.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Oh, blue and white couch, how I missed you.

MICHELLE CRINGES.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

You mean to tell me this couch that's been here since I was born in nineteen eighty six hasn't been replaced yet?

D.J.

What can I say, Dad did a great job at preserving it with his cleanliness over the years.

KIMMY

Yeah, and one time I started getting allergic to it, he de-allergenized it for me. Can you believe that?

MICHELLE

Somehow I can, Kimmy, even for someone like you.

KIMMY

How are you, squirt?

MICHELLE

Kimmy, I'm thirty years old now. If any girl's gonna be called a squirt it's that girl over there.

MICHELLE POINTS AT RAMONA.

RAMONA

Hey, who are you calling squirt? Squirt!

MICHELLE

Oh, wait, Kimmy, that's Ramona, isn't it? You really grew up, the last time I saw you six years ago you were a squ...

RAMONA

Don't say it!

MICHELLE

Squirt.

MICHELLE GIGGLES.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Sorry.

RAMONA

Hey, no sweat. Michelle, may I just say I love your designs.

MICHELLE

Thanks. So do I.

MICHELLE GETS UP OFF THE COUCH.

FERNANDO WALKS INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

FERNANDO

Well, the oil is back on the shelf with its little brothers and sisters, Kimmycita.

FERNANDO PUTS HIS ARM AROUND KIMMY.

KIMMY

Hey, Michelle, you remember...

MICHELLE

Fernando. Right. Hey, weren't you guys getting a divorce?

FERNANDO TURNS HIS FACE AWAY WITH SHAME.

FERNANDO

Why, who do you think you are, Ms. Tanner, coming here all famous and successful, talking trash about Fernando? Why, I never?!

MICHELLE CRINGES.

MICHELLE

Okay, so-rry.

KIMMY

Don't be upset, babe, she's been gone too long, she's missed so much. Especially in the world of television! You know, speaking of T.V. there aren't anymore great family sitcoms anymore on there. Hell, that's why I got Netflix!

FERNANDO NODS AND SMILES.

MICHELLE

Boy, am I hungry, I haven't eaten anything for the past six hours, that flight was so long!

STEVE CONTINUES TO EAT HIS SANDWICH.

STEVE

Here, Michelle, have some of my sandwich.

MICHELLE

No thanks, Steve. I see food is still your closest love.

D.J. CUTS IN FRONT OF STEVE.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Next to D.J. that is.

D.J.

Michelle, how is everything? Can I get you anything?

MICHELLE

D.J. you're looking at me like I don't know my way around. I can manage.

D.J.

You sure?

MICHELLE SLAPS HER HAND ON HER FOREHEAD.

MICHELLE

Duh!

D.J. SMILES.

D.J.

Somehow I'm so glad you said that.

D.J. WALKS OFF TO THE KITCHEN.

MICHELLE

Jackson, Max, come give Aunt Michelle a hug.

JACKSON

But we just hugged you.

MICHELLE

So, this is a house of hugs, and I love hugging.

MAX AND JACKSON HUG MICHELLE.

MICHELLE WALKS OVER TO THE PLAYPEN AND PICKS UP TOMMY.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

There he is, my newest nephew! Hello, Tommmy wommy, it's me, Aunt Michelley welly.

FERNANDO TURNS TO KIMMY.

FERNANDO

I love that baby talk, it makes me so hot with passion. That's how you talk to me in bed Kimmy wimmy.

KIMMY

Of course it is, Ferny werny.

KIMMY STROKES FERNANDO'S EAR AS HE SMILES AND LIFTS HIS BROWS.

STEPHANIE

So, Michelle, what have you been up to the past six years? Even better, what have you been up to in the past few decades? Inquiring minds would like to know.

MICHELLE WALKS AROUND THE LIVING ROOM WITH TOMMY.

MICHELLE

Well, my crew and I all stuck together into high school, Teddy, Denise, Lisa, Derek, and even Aaron. After I graduated from San Francisco State in two thousand and eight, I took two years off to travel, then I had this brilliant idea to move to New York with...

DENISE (30), MICHELLE'S GRADE SCHOOL FRIEND, WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR. SHE WEARS A CLASSY OUTFIT.

DENISE

Hey, Michelle, nobody told me your Dad sided the house, I knocked on several front doors before I remembered you live here.

MICHELLE

Denise. Shouldn't you be visiting your family? I only just saw you a half hour ago when our plane landed.

DENISE

Yeah, but they can wait, I see them everyday online, what's the rush?

STEPHANIE RUSHES OVER.

STEPHANIE

Hey, Denise, how's living in New York with Michelle been? If you need any pointers on how to be the one in charge, take it from me, I shared a room with her until I moved out in two thousand for college, the stories I can tell you.

DENISE

Thanks, but Michelle and I are chill. We just finished some sketches for our new designs we're planning on releasing in the spring.

RAMONA RUSHES OVER TO MICHELLE AS SHE FIDGETS.

RAMONA

Hey, Michelle, I want to ask, out in New York, have you worked or been around any famous people? What about the Olsen twins? Their line is amazing!

MICHELLE

Yeah, I've been at several fashion events which they attended. I must say, they are amazing.

RAMONA

Can I ask you another question?

MICHELLE

Sure, what is it?

RAMONA

Can you teach me how to sketch designs?

MICHELLE

Piece of cake!

RAMONA

Can I ask you another question?

MICHELLE

Sure!

RAMONA

Can I have your autograph?

MICHELLE

You got it, dude!

STEPHANIE AND KIMMY LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER AND SMILE AND NOD.

RAMONA PULLS OUT A NOTE PAD AND MICHELLE WRITES IN IT.

D.J. WALKS INTO THE LIVING ROOM FROM THE KITCHEN WITH A TRAY REFRESHMENTS.

STEVE

Food!

STEVE REACHES OVER THE TRAY AND DROPS SOME REFRESHMENTS ON THE FLOOR.

D.J.

Steve! Wait! Oh, this whole day is just going all wrong!

MICHELLE

D.J., Calm down.

D.J.

Michelle, you don't know what it's like running a house full of so many people.

MICHELLE

Oh, no? Why not ask Dad? By the way, he's looking at you and watching your every move.

D.J.

What?

MICHELLE

Hi, Dad.

MICHELLE POINTS AT DANNY'S PHOTO ON THE FIREPLACE.

D.J. CRINGES, THROWS HER HANDS UP IN THE AIR, AND RUSHES BACK INTO THE KITCHEN.

MICHELLE LOOKS AT TOMMY.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

So, Tommy, can you say "Mommy Crazy"?

MICHELLE GIGGLES AS SHE PLAYS WITH TOMMY AND TICKLES HIM. TOMMY THEN BEGINS TO PEE. MICHELLE CRINGES. STEPHANIE SHAKES HER HEAD.

STEPHANIE

You really shouldn't have tickled him. Tickling leads to tinkling.

MICHELLE

Now you tell me.

MICHELLE LOOKS AT TOMMY AS SHE GRIMACES.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

You're in big trouble, mister!

D.J. RUSHES BACK INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

D.J.

What's going on? Oh, Tommy, why did you have to tinkle all over Aunt Michelle? Come on, let's go change you.

D.J. TAKES TOMMY AND RUSHES OFF TO CHANGE HIM.

MICHELLE

So, what's everyone waiting for? Let's get this party started!

LATER

MUSIC PLAYS. CATERERS SERVE FOOD. STEPHANIE DJ'S BY THE FIREPLACE. RAMONA, LOLA AND JACKSON CONVERSE NEAR THE COUCH. KIMMY AND FERNANDO FLIRT NEAR THE STAIRS. MICHELLE AND DENISE TALK NEAR THE FRONT DOOR. STEVE WALKS FROM CATERER TO CATERER AND ADDS FOOD TO HIS PLATE.

STEVE

Thank you, don't mind if I do. Oh, the little cream filled kind, my favorite!

D.J. WALKS IN FROM THE KITCHEN WITH TOMMY.

D.J.

Okay, guys, Tommy's all changed. Michelle, how is everything?

MICHELLE LOOKS AT D.J. WITH A STRANGE FACE.

MICHELLE

Everything's fine, why wouldn't it be?

D.J.

Okey-dokey. Be right back.

D.J. WALKS OFF AGAIN TO THE KITCHEN.

THE FRONT DOORBELL RINGS.

DENISE

I'll get it!

DENISE ANSWERS THE DOOR. IT'S DEREK (30) AND LISA (30), MICHELLE'S GRADE SCHOOL FRIENDS. DEREK WEARS A SUIT AND TIE, LISA WEARS A MORE CASUAL BUT UPSCALE OUTFIT.

DENISE (CONT'D)

Hey, dudes! Look, everyone, it's Derek and Lisa.

MICHELLE

Hey, guys, so nice to stop by. Boy, long time no see, wasn't it just last month?

DEREK

Well, since we're all in town visiting our families, we both thought, wouldn't it be smashing to stop by and see our dear friend Michelle on her thirtieth birthday.

LISA

Yeah, it isn't every day fashion designers and actors clash. Different worlds you know, same city.

STEPHANIE WALKS OVER TO THE GROUP.

STEPHANIE

Hey, Derek, Lisa, long time, what's it been, twelve years since you moved to New York after college?

DEREK

Something like that.

LISA

It's nice to see you, Steph.

DEREK

Yes, twelve years of gracing the stages of Broadway. Who would have thought, all those years ago, Lisa and I singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" would be the start of my...our fame.

STEPHANIE

Excuse me? Come again? I don't think I've ever heard your names mentioned before on television, newspapers or even the internet, especially yours, Boyd.

LISA SHOVES AN ELBOW AT DEREK.

LISA

Derek, don't exaggerate. You need to excuse my Derek, he sometimes makes the smallest roles seem so big. Ever since he's gotten several small co-star parts on daytime soaps, it's gotten to his head. You say a line and move on, big deal.

STEPHANIE

Your Derek?

MICHELLE

Oh, yeah, Steph, everyone, before I forget, meet the new Mr. and Mrs. Boyd.

EVERYONE CLAPS.

THE DOORBELL RINGS.

STEPHANIE

I'll get it.

STEPHANIE OPENS THE DOOR TO FIND BRANDON (34), BLONDE, BLUE EYES AND WITH A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.

STEPHANIE (CONT'D)

Brandon!

BRANDON

Hey, Steph. I know we only met a few hours ago, but I needed to see you, so I put your address in my navigator and came right over. Oh, you're having a party?

STEPHANIE

Yeah, it's for my sister, Michelle.

STEPHANIE POINTS OUT MICHELLE TO BRANDON.

BRANDON

Right, that explains the cake this afternoon.

BRANDON FRETS, HE LOOKS AT STEPHANIE AND THEN MICHELLE. HE HANDS MICHELLE THE FLOWERS.

BRANDON (CONT'D)

Here, happy birthday, Michelle. These are for you.

STEPHANIE GRIMACES.

STEPHANIE

I just have to say, how rude! Those flowers were intended for me.

MICHELLE

Here you go, Steph. By the way, where's D.J.? Isn't she hosting this party?

STEPHANIE

I don't know, she's been preoccupied with Tommy all day.

MICHELLE GIVES THE FLOWERS TO STEPHANIE.

MICHELLE

Excuse me, I'm thirsty and need some water from the kitchen, I only drink filtered now.

MICHELLE WALKS TOWARDS THE KITCHEN.

KITCHEN

D.J. HOLDS TOMMY IN THE KITCHEN. MICHELLE ENTERS.

MICHELLE

D.J., there you are.

D.J.

Yes. Yes, here I am. What do you need?

MICHELLE

Wow, this kitchen has changed!

D.J.

Really?

MICHELLE

Well, not so much, but it does look a little different.

D.J.

How so?

MICHELLE

Hmmmm... something seems different, that's all.

MICHELLE WALKS UP TO THE COUNTER WHERE THE SINK USED TO BE YEARS AGO, ACROSS FROM THE FRIDGE. SHE LOOKS FOR THE SINK.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

D.J., where's the sink?

D.J.

Behind you!

MICHELLE

Oh, there it is!

D.J.

Yeah, I forget to tell you, when Dad renovated the kitchen three years ago, he moved the sink to the back of the kitchen close to the laundry room, something about keeping water appliances close together.

MICHELLE SHAKES HER HEAD.

MICHELLE

That's Dad, alright.

MICHELLE FILLS A GLASS OF WATER AT THE SINK.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Ice, that's what I need.

D.J. TAKES MICHELLE'S GLASS AND BRINGS IT OVER TO THE FRIDGE.

D.J.

Oh, don't worry, Michelle, I got it!

D.J. FILLS UP THE GLASS OF WATER WITH ICE BUT LOSES CONTROL OF IT. IT SMASHES ON THE FLOOR AS TOMMY CRIES. D.J. SHAKES HER HEAD.

D.J. (CONT'D)

I'm sorry, Michelle.

MICHELLE

D.J., you don't have to be...

D.J.

I'm sorry. Come on, Tommy, Mommy's here.

D.J. RUSHES OFF UPSTAIRS.

MICHELLE LOOKS ON AND THINKS TO HERSELF.

LIVING ROOM

LOLA, RAMONA AND JACKSON CONVERSE BY THE ALCOVE.

JACKSON

So, Lola, did you know that Michelle over there is my aunt?

LOLA

I did.

JACKSON

Did you also know she designed these trends on me? Pretty cool, eh?

RAMONA SHAKES HER HEAD.

RAMONA

You try too hard.

NEAR THE STAIRS, STEPHANIE AND BRANDON CONVERSE.

STEPHANIE

So, you say you work at the pier?

BRANDON

Yeah.

STEPHANIE

What do you do there?

BRANDON

Oh, sorry, I guess I was just too intrigued in your beauty to tell you.

STEPHANIE SMILES.

STEPHANIE

That's sweet.

BRANDON

Actually, I'm a performer.

STEPHANIE

Oh, like a singer? I sing!

BRANDON

Not exactly. I'm a mime.

STEPHANIE

Mime?

BRANDON

Yeah, that's...

STEPHANIE

I know what a mime is.

LISA AND DEREK WALK OVER.

LISA

Yeah, don't get us started on miming, heck, miming is what Derek and I did for the first three years in New York, starting out as extras and all!

DEREK

Must you make it sound so harsh!

LISA

There are no small parts, dear, just small actors.

DEREK SHAKES HIS HEAD.

DEREK

At least I've built my resume with those small speaking parts in daytime soaps, what

have you done, dear? Community theatre?

LISA SHAKES HER HEAD.

LISA

Then you wonder why we always fight.

DEREK

Dear, you know I am referring you to my agent next week.

LISA

You mean it?

LISA GETS EXCITED.

DEREK

Yes, then we can both be a smashing success. I'm gonna get some punch. Care to join me?

LISA

Why, yes, dear!

MICHELLE AND DENISE TALK BY THE COUCH.

DENISE

Yo, Michelle, what's up with D.J., why isn't she here?

MICHELLE

She's here, she's just been busy with Tommy.

KIMMY AND FERNANDO TALK CLOSE BY.

KIMMY

Would you excuse me, love. I need to see what's keeping D.J.

FERNANDO

Absolutely, my darling Kimmycita. Your beauty is like...

KIMMY

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

KIMMY WALKS OFF TO THE KITCHEN.

THE DOORBELL RINGS. MICHELLE ANSWERS THE DOOR. IT'S AARON (30) MICHELLE'S GRADE SCHOOL FRIEND. HE BEARS A STERN FACE.

MICHELLE

Aaron? Is that you?

AARON

You bet your sweet butt it is. Michelle Tanner fashion designer or no Michelle Tanner fashion designer, you didn't invite me to this party.

MICHELLE

I didn't?

AARON

No, you didn't!

MICHELLE

Gee, Aaron, I'm sorry. It's just that when we all finished high school, you drifted apart from all the group and did your own thing. If you want to include your multiple arrests we all read about in the paper for fighting.

AARON PUTS HIS HANDS ON HIS HIPS. HE'S UPSET.

AARON

Oh, yeah?

MICHELLE

Aaron, grow up.

AARON

I'm thirty years old, Michelle. Isn't that grown up enough? Besides, I was told about this party from a friend of yours.

DENISE

Don't look at me, I didn't invite that fool.

AARON

No, someone you knew longer than Denise.

TEDDY (30) MICHELLE'S FRIEND FROM GRADE SCHOOL, WALKS INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

TEDDY

Hey, Michelle!

MICHELLE'S EYES LIGHT UP AND SHE SMILES.

MICHELLE

Teddy!

TEDDY

No, not Teddy, you can call me Ted. Wait, you're my best friend, you can call me whatever you want.

MICHELLE AND TEDDY HUG.

MICHELLE

I can't believe it's been so long! How've you been?

TEDDY

Well, after high school I moved back to Texas for college but I came back several years ago to become coach of our high school's football team.

MICHELLE

You look great!

TEDDY

It's cool. You look really good yourself.

MICHELLE

Thanks.

TEDDY

You know, I remember it like it was yesterday.

MICHELLE

What?

TEDDY

Our senior prom.

MICHELLE SMILES.

MICHELLE

Yeah?

TEDDY

Yeah, I had just been told I was getting top athlete in school but I had no date to the prom, you know how I was back then, shy and all, just being me.

MICHELLE

I remember.

TEDDY

And how you agreed to go with me because Bobby Ericson broke your heart the week before.

MICHELLE SIGHS.

MICHELLE

Yeah, that was tough,Bobby and I were together since sixth grade when we all went to middle school. You know, that prom was amazing! We both had a fun time.

TEDDY

How could I forget. I remember that night when I took you home, we wanted to see what it was like to kiss each other good night. I liked it.

TEDDY SMILES. MICHELLE SMILES BACK.

TEDDY WALKS OVER TO DEREK AND LISA.

TEDDY (CONT'D)

Derek! Lisa! Hey, long time!

DENISE TURNS TOWARDS MICHELLE.

DENISE

Oooh, somebody's got a crush on somebody!

MICHELLE

Oh, Denise, grow up!

AARON STANDS NEXT TO THEM, HE'S UPSET.

AARON

Am I invisible here?

MICHELLE

Huh? Oh, sorry, Aaron. No, please, come on in! Let's get re-acquainted.

AARON

I'd rather not. Besides, my kid's in the car. I have custody of him this weekend, my only time off as I manage this new hang out called Aaron's Place I opened down the block six years ago. You would know if you had never moved.

MICHELLE TURNS TO DENISE AND WIDENS HER EYES.

MICHELLE

Custody battle. Big surprise.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

This Aaron's Place? Lemme guess, a bar?

AARON

No, as a matter of fact, I bought the old Skippy's Diner we all used to hang out at in high school when it closed. It may not be a famous world-wide success like you, Michelle, but it's a success here.

DARREN (7), THE SPIT IMAGE OF HIS FATHER AARON WALKS UP TO THE DOOR UPSET.

AARON (CONT'D)

Dad, what's taking you so long? Aren't we gonna go to that demolition derby?

AARON (CONT'D)

In a minute.

MAX RUSHES INTO THE LIVING ROOM WITH COSMO.

DARREN

Hey, what are you doing here Fuller the freak?

MAX BACKS UP WITH FEAR.

MAX

Darren? Hi, this is my house. What are you doing here?

AARON

You know this guy?

DARREN

Yeah, he goes to my school.

AARON

You mean to tell me your sister's son gets mocked by my son. Wow, this is too good to be true.

AARON LAUGHS. MICHELLE SHAKES HER HEAD.

DARREN

Dad, are we going or not?

AARON

Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming.

AARON LEAVES. DARREN EYES OUT MAX.

DARREN

See you on the playground, Fuller.

DARREN LEAVES.

MAX BACKS UP TOWARDS MICHELLE.

MICHELLE

It's okay, he's gone. Max, does that kid pick on you?

MAX

Not only picks on me, picks me up and throws me down.

MICHELLE

Well, sweetie, I sort of sense it could be because he's from a home that's falling apart.

MAX

Huh?

MICHELLE

Well, his Dad and Mom aren't together, they toss him back and forth, Aaron's my old classmate and friend from years ago, I tried hard to be friends with him, believe me, we all had.

MAX

What happened?

MICHELLE

Well, some people say old habits never die. With Aaron, that's the truth.

MAX

So what do I do?

MICHELLE

Talk to Darren. Be his friend. Tell him you know what it's like to come from a home where you are missing a parent or going through a tough time. You could become friends.

MAX

Thanks, Aunt Michelle.

MAX AND MICHELLE HUG AND RETURN TO THE LIVING ROOM AREA.

MAX (CON'T)

But what if he pinches me?

MICHELLE

Heck, do what Uncle Jesse told me to do to Aaron years ago, pinch him back!

Max smiles and rushes off with Cosmo.

MICHELLE

Alright, people, let's dance like it's nineteen ninety two again!

STEPHANIE GOES TO THE DJ AREA AND PUSHES A BUTTON "INFORMER" BY SNOW PLAYS. EVERYONE DANCES IN THE LIVING ROOM.

KITCHEN

KIMMY SEARCHES AROUND FOR D.J.

KIMMY

D.J? Deej? D.J?

KIMMY LOOKS IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND THEN AROUND THE KITCHEN AND BASEMENT DOOR AREA. NO ANSWER. D.J. THEN WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

Deej, where were you? Why aren't you joining the party?

D.J.

I put Tommy down for his nap. I don't know, Kimmy, I just wanted this to be perfect for Michelle.

KIMMY

Huh?

D.J.

I want her to feel at home again, like nothing's changed. Nothing's been going right since this morning.

KIMMY

Deej, you should see her out there, all smiles and happy, reuniting with old friends, it's all thanks to you.

D.J.

Yeah, but something is different. She hasn't been home in so long and I feel like she's gonna miss how things were.

KIMMY

Well, don't you think you should talk to her about that?

D.J. NODS HER HEAD.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

I'm gonna head back to the party. You coming?

D.J. SMILES.

D.J.

Yeah, I'll be there in a minute.

D.J. LOOKS AT THE WALL BY THE STAIRS. SHE LOOKS AT A COLLAGE OF PICTURES OF MICHELLE WHEN SHE WAS A KID GROWING UP AND FROWNS.

LIVING ROOM

KIMMY WALKS BACK INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

KIMMY

Okay, Tanneritos, Fullers, Gibblers, and any others I forgot to mention, let's get down!

"FOLLOW YOU DOWN" BY GIN BLOSSOMS PLAYS AS EVERYONE DANCES IN THE LIVING ROOM.

D.J. WALKS IN FROM THE KITCHEN AND SMILES.

KIMMY (CONT'D)

Deej, you're here. Finally, now let's bust a move!

D.J. SMILES AND DANCES WITH THE GANG IN THE LIVING ROOM.

LATER

CATERERS CLEAN UP FROM THE PARTY. JACKSON WALKS LOLA TO THE DOOR AND THEY CONVERSE WITH MICHELLE, DEREK, LISA, DENISE AND TEDDY. KIMMY, FERNANDO AND RAMONA HELP CLEAN UP. STEVE PACKS A PLATE FULL OF FOOD.

JACKSON

May I walk you home, Lola?

LOLA

Of course you may, Jackson.

MICHELLE LOOKS ON AND SMILES.

MICHELLE

Oooo-oooo!

JACKSON AND LOLA LEAVE.

STEPHANIE AND BRANDON TALK BY THE DOOR.

BRANDON

So, can I call you later?

STEPHANIE THINKS FOR A SECOND.

STEPHANIE

Yeah, sure you can.

STEPHANIE AND BRANDON HUG AND HE LEAVES.

STEVE WALKS TO THE DOOR WITH HIS BIG PLATE OF FOOD.

STEVE

Deej, I gotta say, great party, really! Great food, too! I'll call you later?

D.J.

Okay.

STEVE

Bye, Michelle, it was great seeing you.

MICHELLE

You too, Steve.

STEVE LEAVES.

DEREK

Well, sweetums, we should be going, mother will be expecting us by eight, you know we

haven't seen her since the wedding last month.

LISA

Wow, long time.

LISA SHAKES HER HEAD.

LISA AND DEREK BOTH LEAVE.

DENISE

Yeah, Michelle, I gotta split, too.

MICHELLE

Okay, I'll call you later. Bye, guys.

TEDDY

Nice party, Michelle.

MICHELLE

Thanks, Ted. I mean, Teddy. I mean...

TEDDY

Like I said, we may be grown up, but you can call me whatever you want. We've always been best friends forever. Well, see ya later.

MICHELLE

Don't you want to stay? We have so much catching up to do.

TEDDY

Why don't I call you tomorrow? We can meet up for lunch.

MICHELLE SMILES.

MICHELLE

I'd like that. See you then.

D.J. WALKS OVER TO MICHELLE.

D.J.

Michelle, look...

MAX RUSHES THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WITH COSMO, BOTH FULL OF MUD.

D.J. (CONT'D)

Max! Cosmo! I told you guys before! Not in the house!

MAX

Hey, Aunt Michelle, have you met Cosmo yet?

MICHELLE

No, I haven't. Come to think of it, this dog reminds me so much of Comet.

D.J. TENSES UP.

MAX

Yeah, I never knew Comet, Mom says he passed away years before I was born in two thousand. Even his son, Comet, Jr. I didn't get to meet, he passed away in two thousand and eight. But his grand daughter, Comet Jr. Jr. I met, she was born in two thousand and seven and she's Steve's dog now and Cosmo's mother!

MICHELLE SMILES.

MICHELLE

Who woulda thought, Comet, the dog I picked out, the dog who loved Uncle Jesse's bed, this is his great, great grandson!

MAX

Yup!

D.J. FROWNS.

MAX (CONT'D)

I have Mom to thank for him. She said I was able to pick one out and I chose him.

D.J. SHAKES HER HEAD AND RUSHES OFF UPSTAIRS.

MAX (CONT'D)

What's wrong? Did I say something?

MICHELLE

No, honey, it's okay, go take Cosmo out back and play, I'm gonna see what's wrong with your Mom.

MICHELLE RUSHES UP THE STAIRS.

INT. JACKSON AND MAX'S ROOM

D.J. STANDS IN THE ROOM. SHE SOBS. MICHELLE WALKS IN.

MICHELLE

D.J., what's wrong?

D.J.

What's wrong? Everything's wrong!

MICHELLE

No it isn't, it's fine.

D.J.

Then why doesn't it feel fine to me?

D.J. SOBS.

MICHELLE

What?

D.J.

Michelle, a year ago, after Tommy died, I gave Dad a going away party. He was going to sell the house when he and Teri and Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse all moved to Los Angeles with Nicky and Alex.

MICHELLE

Yeah, I remember that, you showed me photos, it looked like a fun time. Emotional, but fun. Then he gave you the house and Steph and Kimmy moved in to help you raise the boys.

D.J.

No, Michelle, you don't get it. You weren't there. The point is you haven't been there. You haven't been there with us for a long, long time.

MICHELLE SLAPS HER HAND AGAINST HER FACE.

MICHELLE

Duh! I live in New York now.

D.J.

Michelle what I'm trying to say is I remember how things were when you were a kid. Looking back, I remember how you wanted us all to stay together.

MICHELLE

What?

D.J.

Remember when the original owner came back and wanted to buy back the house? You went through so much trouble to keep us all together here.

MICHELLE

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

D.J.

And remember when Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky moved away after they got married, you cried so much when that happened, but they moved back in.

MICHELLE

Yeah, so?

D.J.

Michelle, the point is, nothing is the same anymore. So many of our family moved out.

MICHELLE

D.J., I know it's different now.

D.J.

You're not sad?

MICHELLE

Change is a part of life, if not right away, eventually it does happen. Remember Papouli? When he passed away years ago, that was a big change. I was sad, but I learned to accept it.

D.J.

Yeah, but this is different.

MICHELLE

Or what about when Joey finally moved out of the house. We all didn't see that one coming, did we? He took all his toys, Mr. Woodchuck and all!

D.J. LAUGHS.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Or what about when Dad met Teri and got re-married? Or, what about when Tommy died last year? D.J., Change is scary, but some change is good. It's always happening, like your three great kids, cosmo, and even Kimmy moving in to help you out.

MICHELLE CRINGES.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

We need to embrace it.

MICHELLE LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

But not this, D.J., This was clearly a girls room, I demand my dolls and bears to be placed back in here, asap.

MICHELLE LAUGHS.

D.J. Frets.

MICHELLE (CONT'D)

Just kidding, don't have a cow, man!

D.J. SMILES.

D.J.

I just thought that you coming home and not seeing things the way they were would make you very sad.

MICHELLE

D.J., I'm not sad, I'm happy. I'm so happy you gave me this party for my thirtieth birthday. It was so nice to see you guys and my friends from grade school together again in the same place, even Aaron.

D.J.

Thanks, Michelle.

MICHELLE

You got it, dude!

MICHELLE AND D.J. HUG.

Stephanie enters the room.

STEPHANIE

There you guys are! Wow, look at this...devjavu!

Stephanie looks about the room.

STEPHANIE

Can you believe we all passed through this room at one point? And now it's a boy's room? How rude!

Michelle and DJ laugh and smile with Stephanie and the three hug.

FADE OUT.

THE END


End file.
